my girlfriends now gay ex-boyfriend kissed me. tell maddie i can't hangout today
I don't want to talk about it. He was like the Little Engine that couldn't get me off.
please remind me not to sleep with group members until after finals week.
When She took off her bra.... A tube of lipgloss, her phone, I.D. And a wad of twenties fell out.... I'm officially no longer a butt man
He's tryingto open a beer with a Police baton. Cut him off or see where this leads?
I feel like wearing underwear would just be poor planning
Your brother just walked into my room, pissed drunk and butt naked, got into my bed and fell asleep. In knowing I am gay, you have one hour to deal with him before I do
Dude, why did I wake up with ketchup packets in my bed and the stove in my room??
You know how I know last night was a good night? Because I remember high fiving a couple WHILE they were having sex.
he just sent me a dick pic, it highly resembled a cheese stick
How early is too early to start drinking when studying for the bar?
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Haha I had a heart to heart with a stripper so I would say it was a success?
I wish I just waited long enough to hate someone to fuck one
So my dad just asked, "did you leave without pants a lil bit ago?"
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