i just made out with my boyfriends father...and so did jess
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
Dude it was awful. I woke up with more strippers in my dorm room than those duke lacrosse kids.
just shaved my legs at the gas station bathroom before going to the club. is that too ghetto?
No offense but you kinda look like a Jack Johnson fan in that pic
my boss told me he would look for my wallet when he went back to the strip club tonight.
He's grinding topless with a group of girls to that discovery channel song. May I take a message?
I told him if he went to see magic mike with me I'd cover his eyes during the penis parts
Wearing scrubs to buy plan b so I look like I have my life together.
I woke up in an apt hallway this morning and a nice lady brought me coffee cause she thought I was homeless
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Dude she's from Moscow. I feel like I'm cheating on America.
Happy "I'm glad our dad made us sisters and then summarily downgraded himself to sperm donor" day.
But actually he solved 40% of my life problems just in one dicking
We need a kiddie pool and lots of cornstarch
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