So...it's hour 4 of day 5 of week 7 of my internship, and so far all ive done is shred paper. all. day. long. it's like working for Enron.
well I mean we knew we had more drinkers than runners, so we had a "case race for the cure" for relay for life instead of an actual marathon. day drinking and philanthropy. can't go wrong.
"Take a picture of me motorboating molly" was probably not my best career move
OMG HAIR ON HIS DICK. HAIR ON HIS DICK AS IN GROWING OUT OF HIS DICK. HAIR.
The bridesmaid just threw up on herself. This is going to be the best wedding ever
It's okay, I climbed on the roof of the bar to get my shoe back. This may become a Saturday tradition. I'll keep you updated
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
Sometimes I think I'm witty and funny, and then I realize it 3pm and I'm drunk
I have this terrible fear I might accidentally text a pic of my dick to my grandma
woke up with empty beer can still duct taped into my fists and the word "dove" written on the back of my neck
On a Thurs night I found myself drunk in a limo w 9 dudes on my way to a strip club. Once there I was handed $100 in ones and told "spend it." I need a husband. Or Jesus.
I'm going to have to include Angry Orchard in my thesis acknowledgements
Just hooked up my fuck buddy with a job working for my dad...this can only end bad.
PS- My flight is being emergency landed bc someone smuggled cats on the plane.
It was weird, it was like my heart got a boner. Is this being an adult?
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