Can you send me a pic of you vag, I'm sexting the guy and he wants a pic but I didnt shave
dude are you serious?
I know you already have a pic on your phone
Went home with a 29 year old from the bar. Life lesson: 9 year olds stay up late sometimes
ok, his religious views on facebook are madonna lyrics. we no longer have to wonder about his sexuality.
He's trying to wipe up all the spilled drinks with a banana
On your way out, lock the front door. And by lock the front door, I mean find the door handle, reattach it, and then lock it.
Almost just got kicked out of a bar because the locals spilled beer everywhere when we taught them to shotgun.
Just saying goodbye until I figure this whole "warrant out for my arrest" thing
Seriously, I am going to crawl in a hole, sew my vagina shut, and spit acid on any man that comes near me.
OMG. Dad just threw a 100 dollar bill down on the table for a girl to lift her shirt. I think he was kidding, but...
Sorry I punched you in the throat. You got in my way. You understand.
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
I think it's time to give up this life and become vikings. You in?
leave me alone I'm becoming one with nature and doing plant things
What kind of terrible faithless God would allow vodka and one ply toilet paper to coexist?
Good luck. While you're suffocating on a dick, I'll be eating pizza rolls. Being a good girl.
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