Last night this chick queefed when I was going down on her. Thinking if you! xo
I can mark tailgating, going to the game and getting road head off my to do list today
Just passed a guy passed out on a riding lawn mower in his front yard.
She told me she needed to clarify that we are not fuck buddies, we are best friends that have sex once in a while
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
His penis has a special gift of curing my broken heart
sorry for the blank pocket text. My penis obviously has nothing to say to you.
According to FB I fucked in a field 365 days ago.
All of a sudden i love everyone. In all their flawed and failing beauty. This is pretty good weed.
Didn't want you to think it had been open season on my vagina since we broke up.
Good news: you're over the drunk crying life phase. Bad news: now you're handy and violent. You were groping me from behind in front of the guy you like, then you put me in a headlock and swept the leg.
Woke up with a $50 attached to my penis with a rubber band..
Sweet. Tell little Richard to buy us a sack and a pizza.
Bringing my mom Taco Bell and weed. I'm such a good daughter
It's now officially the Christmas season, so I have no shame in drinking evernog.
I'm a mess. I mean I almost got off but I'm a fucking rubics cube down there so il givenhim the point
Randomize
