no weekend plans? you're practically married
just without the last name or joint bank account
i'd advise against both
the fact that you could barely do more than slur incoherent sentences didn't stop you from correcting her grammar
Just come back with most of your limbs...and your dick. Please and thank you
I just remembered that he had fake blood all over his face last night. I woke up with it all over my dick. He was 50. Please don't judge me.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
I decided not to eat, and then this man was my fairy " don't black out" godmother
That sad moment when you flush your Molly down the toilet at the airport & watch your vacation slowly end..
His hair looked like he was in a bukaki and then got a perm right after
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
It's always great when the guy I get pills from sends me an email that says "I know you will get clean it's going to be hard but I know you can do it"
Just because I stayed up all night betting on Australian Horse Racing doesn't mean I have a gambling program.
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
Haha. I found pics last week of me getting motorboated by a girl while i was taking a shot. Hahaha in my wedding dress. Classy
I literally forgot every French word I knew and blurted out “mange moi” so he went down on me like I was some baguette fresh outta the oven!!!! I passed out.
I swear he is my soulmate. He kept feeding me goldfish while we were fucking. Who wouldn't enjoy that while having sex.
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