Hey I don't know if you will get this but all I know is you are so beautiful to .ee and? I dare anyone to stop me me from caring for you ante so beautiful so I kid you not gorgeous iyoiu are so beautiful to me i dare som.eone too stioo you
we thought you were sober enough for a movie but you took one look at emily blunt and screamed "aw this bitch?!" and passed out 30 seconds later
we need to find that guy that whips out his cock at the bar again
She was having a seizure right in front of you, and you asked, "So there's no more donuts?"
Why did I think it was so necessary to steal that rolling pin?
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
I'm laying here half naked telling him I'm eating gold fish to change the subject of hookin up cuz I don't wanna put pants on
I should not be allowed to be in possession of a fifth and a phone at the same time.
Two guys I banged regularly got married this week. I need vodka.
*swallows 40 gallons of heavy water and astral projects into buzzfeed* Top Ten Reasons Why I Am God
I responded like every reasonable adult would. With a gif
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
is it weird that i just witnessed the marriage of someone ive had sex with on multiple occasions?
A massage should never include spaghetti sauce. shit was fucked up
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