yeah I know. she is a stupid fat trailer trash bitchwhore and I hate her
but when she came up to me in the bar I had to be all like "OMG HEYYY how are you, I haven't seen you in foreverrrrr!!"
but for the record, yeah, I hope she gets mauled by a bear and dies
physics? naw man, teacher told us it was casual friday, so i decided to be super casual and not go.
the roller ball on my blackberry is the closest i've come to touching a clit in 2 years.
yeah she was being a bitch. do you remember me stealing ryan cabrerra's beer?!?!
I had a dream where I was about to fight you but you were dressed like a greek god and had just killed a werewolf with your bare hands
You coulda licked the floor this morning and got drunk.
I was galloping around pretending to give birth to pbrs. I could have used a mask.
This girl ordered Hershey syrup and red wine and he made it for her
Straight up asked lady in a lime green jumpsuit how to make your ass clap. That thing wiggled more beautifully than ocean waves at sunset
Marrying her is the worst scenario of any. That includes death and zombies.
I got myself off in the shower last night for the first time ever! I just looked like I was playing a game of twister.
on a scale of one to ten where does vomming from being hungover during a professionalism lecture fit
She started waving a nerf rifle around and demanding free booze.
He almost got to me tonight but then I was like fuck it I'm going to dance with a teli-tubby on the bar so fuck you
I am no longer and illegal Moonshiner. I just made thousands of gallons of incredibly High test alcohol with police watching and waiting for thare couple of jugs so that they can bring home and disinfect their houses with it. I'm fat with money at the moment.
Randomize
