i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
It was as awful as eating cow testicles on fear factor and not winning and realizing you ate balls for nothing.
You know your in college when you decide house chores with games of beer pong...
if she mentions anything about chili and my phone, just go with it
there are way too many $1s in my wallet for last night to have been 'tame'
They gave me a glowstick necklace to wear so they could locate me if I wandered off into the woods
i love you. like a brother. a brother that i had sex with more than once.
They called me at 5 AM saying they had a present for me
Someone just told me I have an ass that could kill small children .... Don't know how to take that one
An we can hold bottles of vodka in our hands singing yo ho a pirates life for me
just because the DWI class is located at the University does not make him a professor. I was duped, he is in no way, shape or form a professor!
So what did you do since you didn't go out?
...ate chocolate and watched bring it on....it's like I don't even know what it would look like to be straight.
You called me into the kitchen so you could show me that you were peeing in the kitchen sink and then told me to leave bc you couldn't do it with me watching
Why is there a wet sock in my garbage? Why did I chug so much red wine? Why was someone signing into my iCloud account at 4 am in China? Why do I do self-destructive reckless things? So many questions.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
Randomize
