I fucked my boyfriend 15 minutes before my pap test. My gyno probably thinks I hate her.
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
the only consolation to the fact that i puked in public today was that i did it down a storm drain... so at least i am a responsible public puker
Oh please tell me that I'm sleeping in your shower and not the neighbor's again
because drunk making out is frowned upon in museums i think
...i'd have to set their sheets on fire.
You put your name in his phone but not your number then screamed "Open the door!" and jumped out of the car
She insisted on cleaning her room in the dark. 5 minutes in, she forgot what she was doing and started putting shirts on instead of hanging them up.
Can you please help mom and dad? Theyre trying to figure out Skype, and its like 2 cavemen finding fire.
Yeah i like want to be friends with him. And if we have sex in the physics library well thats fine with me
I think he's like Cher he's going to live forever but not as scary looking
The night's not a success unless at least 60% of participants wake up with bite marks on their genitals the next morning.
I don't know what kind of parties you go to, but we should hang out more often.
THIS FUCKNUGGET
DOES HE EVEN REALIZE HOW MANY INCREDIBLE INSULTS I'VE WASTED ON HIM
I'VE INSULTED THE EVERLOVING SHIT OUT OF HIM AND HE CAN'T EVEN APPRECIATE IT
THE HO
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
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