It was kinda weird being the boss
Did you feel like Tony Danza?
And that's when I found out that Patrick wasn't in fact down with O.P.P.
dude you have to find out what a girl's name is before you sleep with her. if her name is debbie she's boring, if her name is lauren she's an overrated hoebag, if her name is meagan she gived bad head.
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
He made me cum so much, I almost let him spend the night. The operative word being "almost".
She is two pictures of justin bieber away from being blocked from my news feed
I've already come up with two plans that will probably end with me getting kicked out of here. You guys should come faster.
I can't make Walk of Shame Wednesdays a recurring theme.
he just asked if we wanted to go to an arts and crats club with him tomorrow. every day it becomes harder for me to defend his sexuality
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
I think my new low is running outside in a towel to pet a particularly fluffy looking squirrel and projectile vomiting off the balcony.
Definitely but only if you hit on the 16 year old in the karate class as part of your waffle and gin fueled sexually deprived rage.
When have we listened to the rational side of either of us?!
When he was going down on me I referred to him as "Lord Snow" and HE GOT IT. HE GOT THE GAME OF THRONES REFERENCE. I AM IN LOVE
The neighbors ahemed the WHOLE time. Their kids are the ones that scream loud enough for me to remember my birth control. It's payback!
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