The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
Oh and I watched laurens last episode on the hills. its been an emotional day
if there werent so many compromising pictures of me in the hands of so many liberal friends, id consider going into politics
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Literally he has the smallest penis I've ever felt since 8th grade.
I pretty much gave up on you when you told me you couldn't go home yet b/c you had to stop at church first. It was 2 AM and you insisted you were late for mass.
Went to the wedding reception, and he left with ALL of the brides maids phone numbers. I don't know how he does it either.
That awesome feeling when you are pooping on the same toilet that nobel laureates have pooped on
when I said energy drinks I meant cocaine
He used the panoramic camera on his iPhone to take a picture of his dick. And it actually filled it. Pretty sure I just came.
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
I told my boyfriend that the thing I missed most about him was scratching his balls for him.
Do you want me to add this to the list of actions I will state at your intervention
He ate me out in the passenger seat of his Range Rover in a Tim Hortons parking lot. I could hear “oh canada” on the radio from a nearby school as I came. Most patriotic orgasm ever!
There’s a child, alone, sitting on a picnic table out there, making bird noises
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