Goodnight sugar queer
Sugar queer??
Why does my predictive text prioritize 'queer' over 'puffs'?
I found my crush's facebook page. And his wife's. Apparently they are still in love. Of all the people to have happy marriages! Fuck, I'm depressed.
yeah bitch needs to recognize there's only one person with this face
Just woke up in a hotel next to a 38 year old mom who's married... I think Spring Break has started
He's having sex with his gf again. Every thump of his bed against the wall is insulting to our one night stand.
he was gone before i woke up. left a pee stain, phone number, note and $20 for sheets. safe to say i will not be calling.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
YOUR TITS WERE ON THE TABLE.
Like I would feel weird too if you just cancelled our wedding, cut off all your hair and started twerking everywhere
He said I took his samurai sword off his wall and proceeded to jump off his porch at people coming home from the bar.
I've had sex to the movie Tommy Boy too many times to be acceptable.
dude, i just found out morgan freeman loves weed. all my moms arguments are now irrelevant
One of my tenants at my fourplex that I own gave me a massive bag of severely dank pot and a brick of cocaine because she didn't have the cash to pay the rent. She might just be my favorite tenant!
You should not be involved with someone who smells like that. Because that smell seriously does not go away. Even if you can't actually smell it at any given point, it will still haunt you
CTFD. There’s plenty of dick in the sea! This is Vegas, we import dick. \nWorst case scenario we get a rental penis
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