So im pretty sure the object of my emotional onterest is tired of playing with me....
she has no idea who harrison ford is.
see that's why i'd never date someone born in the 90s
we went back to her place to bone only to find her boyfriend having sex.. with MY girlfriend
i bought a pregnancy test with dimes. Is that trashy?
he was sobbing,drinking his beer, all while confessing his love for her. awkward was an understatement...
Why not. Its my b-day, you're in town, I'm in town, bars are in town, and alcohol is in town. I don't see anything not good about those things.
Notice: I will be intoxicated and in your area this evening. To unsubscribe from my sexual solicitation list, reply 'fuck off'.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I AM OVERLY HIGH AND OVERLY AWARE OF MY TONGUE IN MY MOUTH
I'll be visiting the rave tower. Prepare your finest boxed wines for my consumption.
I feel violated by Miley Cirrus's performance in the VMA's.
2013: the year of legs covered in hair and pregnancy scares.
I don't remember that much at all. But I guess I met this guy from New Zealand and his dog, and then I punched someone in the face.
How was your weekend?
My girlfriend decided the best way to get my mind off of my dog dying was to break up with me via text
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
Randomize
