It's like a parade of train wrecks.
You litterally reached into some girls shirt, pulled out her tit and yelled whats up with this guy.
you're the best thing to happen to me. closely followed by learning to ejaculate, and drugs.
NC is no longer selling 190 proof Everclear. We are officially no longer the greatest state.
I feel like the only solution to this is to get naked and lay in the shower for a hour then see what my penis wants to do.
when it says do not use on the face or genital areas, it MEANS do not use on the face or genital areas.
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
I literally put my pussy on his sideburns, it was awkward
There's a lil minaj in everyone
Mass text to all of my back up boy toys. First one here wins. Mama needs some.
Really? Uh ohh sounds like a double date with extra stripper funnnn
Strange request but for my birthday you should get me one of those vibrators that you can plug into your iPod that go along with the music.
I don't know. She kept pirouetting across the kitchen while making dinner. I just sat there stoned.
We got signed out of jail by an Uber driver. I think that qualifies as a great first night of college
No i dont need a babysitter i have my cats. Cats can dial 911 ya know
I am witnessing a blind guy whip ass at beer pong
Randomize
