he just kept saying that he had liquor dick..then he tried to fuck me without removing his pants.
i think i just witnessed the elusive male walk of shame
I mean, it really isn't YOUR car until you have sex in it.
Cute you're picking friends over dick. I feel like this is the trailer for a lifetime movie.
I told him that he could only go home with me if he didn't talk or tell me his name
He doesn't make grammatical errors. Even while getting head.
At what point in my life did a night that has strippers, belly dancers, tequila and a midget become "average"?
Took me 10 minutes of oral to finally get him hard for like 30 seconds of sex until he came and passed out. Def not worth the ROI.
Funny, 'cause his story is it went great. He faked passing out so he wouldn't have to do anything in return.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I WANNA SUCK HIS DICK ON A BOAT
He's gonna turn my vagina into the Sahara desert
Hypothetically, I throw a party and my ex-boyfriend and my current fuck buddy are in the same house... what should I do?
How many beds are in the house? Hypothetically...
I went to a swingers party and came home with a boyfriend. I love my life.
Weird. And pubic lice are now endangered so your hairy balls can rest easy
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