Locked eyes w/ her at mainstreet, and said 'yeah yeah get it!' From there we started violently making out on the dancefloor (I had a FULL boner, ps) and then I got her number
you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
Even the bartender felt bad for me
I need a booty call who doesn't know my boyfriend or my friends.
i was focused on more important things... like standing, and not spilling my beer
You are the patron saint of my drinking problem.
You kept throwing bottles at the dorm across the courtyard and when anyone told you to stop you just said "who are you? Al Gore?"
We had phone sex and he came in his sink. i will never eat off one of his plates again
Just thought you should know that we coat checked our fairy wings last night. Getting belly up to the bar was way more important that wearing our costumes.
If is anything like my past relationships, I have no doubt that I will single-handedly reignite the Cold War
For the past year I have been the most responsible I have ever been in my entire life and now spring break is here and there is free penis just traipsing around my entire town. The game is afoot.
You pole danced in your parka.
I feel like I missed the land of milk and honey and instead wound up in the land of beer and pizza. And yet, I think I'm happier here.
I love you but I don't want to see you naked.
At one point she put on my dads pants and yelled after him EMILIOOOO! Dude, my dads name is Mark.
Randomize
