Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
genius alert. I just invented a contraption made of toilet paper and rubber bands that makes it so your balls don't stick to your leg when you wake up from sleeping. I call it, The Balldozer
winter break is going to suck... i have to put away my college personality and transform into who my parents think i am.
would it be subtle enough if I played birthday sex on repeat while I may or may not be stripping?
I was high enough to think that mac-n-cheese w/ ketchup, tortilla chips w/ ketchup, and milk was a fancy dinner
I'm sitting in my bathroom sink, eating a tuna sandwich. He had better weed than I expected.
She had the hiccups when she was giving me head. It was actually pretty awesome
Did you hear about Miss Teen Delaware? From the snippet they played on the radio, I knew exactly what porn company it was from. Maybe I should cut back
I mean, the sex was awesome last weekend, but I didn't even imagine I'd reached ovarian rupture status.
Pennsylvania now holds the distinct honor of being the third state I've crapped my pants in.
it's unicorns you uncultured swine
she said that no one there was hot enough for her so she then proceeded to give the passed out person a lap dance because he was "her type."
I came and sneezed at the same time. Words can't describe how awesome it was.
The text I got from my boyfriend this morning: "babe, I'm not mad because I know you were drunk, but you kissed 3 guys last night and I wasn't one of them".
Sometimes you have good days, sometimes m you delete 360 screenshots off your camera roll.
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