belinda wants 2 know wr u got ur butt pads
i dont wear butt pads that thang is au naturel
Yeah...right...LMAO
I think I won the penis lottery.
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
I'd be surprised if he had a problem with boundaries after helicoptering his penis in front of you
Escorted a stripper to her car last night,and all I got was a "Thanks" and "Go Steelers."
Idk man I'm just a giant talking marshmallow ready to be toasted and dipped in chocolate
I peed in my sheets during a dream. Like straight up. A whole new drunk.
My synapses wont fire in a pattern that will process those facts
I wore my Gollum shirt. It struck up a conversation AND got him staring at my boobs. That's a win-win.
If I don't singlehandedly make your gf realize she needs to straighten the fuck up or ruin your relationship before I leave I have failed you as a friend.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
I really need to get to the point where I can poop at his house. I’ve taken three shits on the way home already.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
Nobody cheats on THIS.
Somehow my life has turned in to drug deals at the bar, and illegally camping on a mountain because I have no where else to live.
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