And God said, "Let there be Twilight," and it was so.
I should injure you considerably.
Now that I'm 21, I feel like I'm letting North Dakota down by not being drunk everyday
Nick just found a baggie of 3 year old shrooms in his desk drawer and downed it all with cheap white wine. I am not on vomit duty tonight.
blowing a .13 at 10 AM isn't nearly as cool as I thought it would be.
it was really bad. he went around saying "I want you inside of me" to everyone.
Do you remember trying to eat gravel when we were walking back to the dorm?
Is 10 pm too early to booty call a freshman?
Get out here. Doing shots with the delivery guy. Also, the food is here
I've had more sex in the two weeks since we broke up than I ever had in any two weeks we were together.
you sat in the middle of your kitchen floor feeding your dog blueberries one by one
They conduct scientific research memoirs about what sort of shit happened last night after I ate those cookies.
When you say shenanigans does that mean I should bring birth control?
He said I was doing well, so I stopped mid blow job to compliment his grammar. You could say I like intellectuals
Phil and I agree that the level of sand in your vagina rivals that of many of the earth's largest deserts
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
