He introduced her to the DMA meeting by saying: in the past few years i've never seen someone work so hard for so little success
So it turns out the white chocolate in the bathroom is actually soap
Do you think if Santa was real that he's have a big penis?
I'm gonna play a drinking game called "Sarah takes the train"
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
Literally passed out while tubing... Boating while hammered is a blast but thank God for life jackets
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
if that blanket by the dog bowl was your dog's "bed" then i apologize to bailey for having sex on it
when someone at the bar asked you a question all you knew how to say was "chug-a-lug"
He told me my butthole was like "Narnia" and that it's a wonderful place he would like to visit.
Holy. Crap. I just found a hickey on my bikini line. He never got my pants off. WHO IS THIS MYSTICAL HOOKUP WIZARD?
now that we broke up we are playing hot potato with the cock ring.. Poor thing just needs a home
Why is there a horse in the backyard?
I stayed at my gfs last night. This is all on you.
She asked me if I could do that to her every single time. I said nope. sometimes it's better.
Randomize
