This isn't the rejection hotline, is it?
at FSU your more likely to get an STD than a parking spot
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
There was a suspicious looking plate that suggests I may have eaten salad with gravy
You coming bye my yot got egg sweet carilne vodklaa
I want to wear something that says I'm a lady (but I have condoms!)
I could only remember yelling "rip it down" as he ninja jumped off the bed, kicked the wall, and superman punched the fire alarm off the ceiling.
I've always wondered why you never put the hotel room in your name...
It's snowing in May and there was a law school party at the strip club. The end is near.
His flight is delayed. Mother Nature is delaying me from sex.
Only you could make a stripper uncomfortable by eye fucking her too much.
Dude, don't put me in a suit and feed me liquor; I'll never go home.
We had to go. She called the bartender a thundercunt.
Ohhh the usual. Laying in bed reflecting on my decisions
Why were you naked on your bathroom floor?
It was a "get entirely naked to take a shit" kind of blackout I think.
I forgot wine drunk hurts
Randomize
