In retrospect - making it rain salt all over our kitchen was not one of my best ideas.
There was just way too much discussion about my penis at that party
No. Her boobs are the one spot of warmth in my life right now and I will not let you take them from me.
That was an excessively violent trivia night
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
He started using my brother's rc helicopter as a beer delivery device. He's a drunk McGyver.
Can you imagine how doomed are children are? I mean for one they have our genetics and then we will ruin them as parents. It will be the most magical adventure. Let's not start soon, too many adventures at hand that involve immense amounts of alcohol.
javelin tossed one of my crutches in to the mosh pit at the concert, hit some dude in the temple hahah fuck him he sucks
I dont think ive ever had a drunk day betray me so hard before
Like, what's the customary waiting period to hookup with your newly single ex that you never stopped hooking up with?
She has dubbed herself the Pied Piper of Penis and keeps yelling about getting Cocktober started... Will send pix soon
Dude we smoked with a bunch of random stoners in a forest, then group hugged. It was the most magical thing we've ever done.
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
Nobody's dick fell into my mouth tonight
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
Randomize
