I'm not a real person
I'm sorry, everyone knows that
i think if you made a shrine it would be creepy
just gave a yankee's fan wrong directions to Fenway....welcome to boston asshole
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
The liquor store wont accept checks from us anymore.
hey tell your friend im sorry for licking his mouth, that was probably inappropriate
They just called to see if he wanted to come in at 2am for overtime. He's trashed. He literally carried on a 10 minute convo with his boss about woodchucks. As in the animal
Walk of shaming dressed as a zombie hunter. This hangover feels like the actual apocalypse.
I just really need a hug and a shower beer
He balanced a treat on his nose, and then he rolled me a joint. My bf is the best pet ever.
My day in three words: secret purse cake
I got into a fight with the dude who fell asleep on my couch bc he wouldn't wake up but managed to get a lunch date set for thurs with another guy by the time he finally left. So how's your day so far?
I would have publicly shamed him but I'm pretty sure his tramp stamp did that on its own...
Everyone is like kids first day of school and I'm over here like I need to stop sleeping with random
Naptime over. I've got fresh contacts and tequila. RAAAAAAGE!
Randomize
