We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
My BOSS just pulled out a box of Christmas stuff labeled reefs.
i stuck my finger in my ass and it felt weird. but you know. it should be different when a guy does it right?
I'm trying to spell out I love you with a series of photos of my penis, but I just realized I can't do the Y of you
Im covered in vodka and melted gummys. Fuck summer.
a guy just walked up to us....drank the rest of my beer....and said sorry for my loss before walking away.
she's like the billy mays of hookups...touch my boobs and i'll throw in this blow job ABSOLUTELY FREE
I HAVE A BLACK EYE FROM A DILDO!! IM GETTING MARRIED TOMORROW! THIS IS NOT A MISSUNDERSTANDING!
Just woke up next to a girl with 30 hot dogs in my bed. Vodka you win again.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
She said she wouldn't get out of hand. When the cops showed up she jumped off the 4ft high porch and fell into a ditch. She then buried herself because she was wearing light pants and though the light from the cops flashlights would reflect off her pants. We couldn't find her for 40 minutes.
You got your ass kicked outside KFC on Tuesday
The fact our science teacher from high school was buying us drinks and hitting on me doesn't matter.
Did you happen to find the other half of my bra last night?
We left Waffle House and he took off running five miles down the road saying we were "training for the Olympics." And I mean, I couldn't leave him out there like that...
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