have you ever noticed that homeless people never have acne. suck it proactive
Me too. I'd like to spend all next summer high and drunk and riding ponies and boys.
ugh. my friday night is playin' Farmville on my face. time to harvest the blackheads...
So I was gonna stay in tonight but the president got me motivated! I will not quit. Bars here I come.
I didnt realize til after I got out of her apartment and into the lobby that we lived in the same building.
Thanks for the ave Maria song you left on my phone that lasted for TEN minutes.
She has an emergency bra in her purse. I'm gonna check no on the 'introducing her to my new boyfriend' box.
Would it be safe to assume you're the one that left my front door wide open and left yourself a trail of jaeger drops to find your way back?
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
An open call to all exes! i have a drunk text policy that requires i delete any and all texts after drink 3, however i have reason to believe i have done something stupid. if i have texted you that "I love you", "miss you" and/or conveyed any interest in getting back together with you in the last 24 hours i was belligerent and lying. That is all.
Should have know they were on something when he started filling a Togo container with fruit
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
I ask for a dick pic and he sends a picture of Dick Cheney. Who does that?
Hooked up with another cop last night. Think I am renaming my vagina "dispatch"
before i could order beers she was on stage 69ing with a stripper
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