I'm starting a business if you want to get involved
oh boy
Its called Cut N Tugs, haircuts with happy endings
cruising supermarkets, asking random people where i can get weed. fuck alaska
how soon is too soon after the break-up to ask for my condoms back?
I have the worst farts today, I'm walking by the cubicles of people I don't like and leaving them surprises. Brb.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
If I banged a coworker last night but didn't enjoy it can I put it down on my timesheet?
you were passed out snoring, face down with all your clothes still on and 20 minutes later you sat up and said "FUCK YES" and then passed out again.
you cant keep talent like that locked up in a relationship
Her parents walked in on us. So for my birthday they bought me a blow-up doll with their daughters face on it. I don't know what to think right now.
We have a drunken confused pantless man in our apt. Boots.
Now he's galloping around the bar. I don't know whether to laugh or cry.
Also while I am being the bigger person I plan on bringing over something strong smelling and/or alcoholic to torture the poor hungover bastard
Considering adding a large amount of vodka to my tomato cup-a-soup at work. Save me.
being a senior sucks, I just started embracing my inner slutty college girl, and it's almost time to put her away...for like, ever. and i really like her.
How bad was it?
Stopped drinking Sunday, hungover on Tuesday bad.
Randomize
