I'm so horny!
I'm so hungry
WHAT A TERRIBLE REPLY!
For your pussy...
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I'm in the bar bathroom about to pass out. But it's ok cause I set my alarm to go off for last call.
We name dropped you at the liquor store and got a ten percent discount!
Ask her if said friend is decent looking or a wildabeast. Need to know if I need to top these 8 coronas off with a little tequila.
Yo. I have a shitload of cardboard. We have to build a smoke hut in the smoke room with a tunnel connected to a cat house. This way the kitty can join us whenever she pleases
whose ass print is on the piano?
I woke up with a stapler in my ass. Don't even complain to me.
I don't know if your celebrity crush has ever asked you for nudes, but it's fucking awesome
Never play truth or dare with a girl who carries a dildo in her purse. I'll never go to a Denny's again.
I took the pregnancy test for shits and giggles, but neither shits nor giggles were had.
Just had to break it to that one guy that I can't sleep w him bc he looks identical to my brother. So how's your morning?
I love you as a roommate, but you GOTTA start using the door dude..
Florida is balancing how much this place sucks with how many vodkas you can have to cope in order to still be allowed on the plane to leave
I fished a Couples Masturbation DVD out of somebody’s trash and kept it. That’s how desperate I am.
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