Your an asshole
Actually, it's "you're an asshole"
My point exactly
I just found out the guys at work had a bet as to who could sleep with me before i move away.
Who won?
All of them.
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
She ordered a salad and a budweiser. I love her.
Wow. Thanks for becoming another fan of something on Facebook. You make me want to gouge my eyes out.
Places you have drunkenly threatened to piss: my bed, my bros bed, my moms bed, my bros wedding
I've decided that my night was probably over when I started eating the penne vodka with my hands.
I brought him flowers on my way home from cheating on him. Boyfriend of the year award right here.
Her neighbors? They're nice. Young family. Tried not to get puke on their side of the lawn.
I yelled "NO FLEX ZONE!!!" at the guy that thinks it's cool to take off his shirt at the party then proceeded to puking
I feel like a grown up and it scares me so I'm hiding out in the bathroom stall and messaging you
Seriously my new passion in life is the girth of his penis
It's 2 am on the long weekend and what am I doing? Sitting alone in my room eating chips and queso and watching Rio. Fuck I need to get laid.
Just met my future wife. Please dont fuck her.
What the hell kind of sad excuse for a bottom are you
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