I've decided through careful research we can out drink any country folk.
Girls behind me in the library are trying to outslut each other with stories from last semester. I'm about to set my cock on the table between them and label it "tie breaker"
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
She screams like she's just fallen out of a helicopter when she cums.
You made out with my dog and told me he tasted like a rainbow.
He kept walking up to every girl at the party saying "Hi, I'm George Clooney. No I won't marry you." He left with three girls.
You handed J your Mayan-pocalypse shopping list and told him he wasn't getting laid unless he brought everything on it. Where is he supposed to get a live goat?!
Never let him bartend when he's tripping. He sprinkled a ton of mexican shredded cheese over a jack and coke and called in a Monterey Jack Daniels.
I told her to not worry about it. Lone Star is an excellent first trimester beer.
Once you've had an oral std scare, you're an expert.
I told him I wanted to fuck him and he hasn't texted me back in 4 days...am I missing something
Dude on a beach in sicily and a blonde jesus just smoked us out and then tried to makeout with me I am never leaving this place
Nice. I got home at like 3am.stopped at Walmart for a vacuum and weirdly a trash can. Not sure why high me last night needed a new trashcan.
she broke the sink..i repeat the sink is off the wall. send help
Did you ask Harvard boi?
Apparently he likes someone who is into being smart and a supporter of human rights ugh what a skank
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