All I seem to do lately is get myself off, take naked pictures and drink beer. I don't know if thats a good or bad thing.
i asked why he had a giant piece of popcorn duct taped to his head and he said "No, it's actually part of my neck." so no, i didn't fuck him.
What can I say, we hook up during the holidays.. We're a seasonal couple
You coming home soon, man?
HENBARSCLOSE
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
there's no way I could forget finding someone else's hand in my pants
After the keg stand you collapsed, hit your head on the floor, started seizing and after 20 seconds got back up and said "hah, I remember my first beer"
Banged my ex-wife last night...so I belong to that club now.
I just figured out the time exactly by how many shots and beers that I've had since this morning. I either have a terrible problem, or a great solution.
Thanks for reminding me of all the hookups my brain has been trying to suppress...
That's what friends are foooooooor!
If I had any lingering questions about my sexuality, the strip club tonight verified I'm 100% gay
At least get laid and waffle fries out of it you whipped basterd
i'll explain later but cookie monster is playing the xylophone
were you aware we were supposed to be taking care of her hamster this weekend?
Randomize
