Thanks again for letting me crash last nite. Sorry I banged your little brother.
Hey i just realized that im masturbating in the exact same kind of chair that they are doing it on in this porno
i was just texting to let you know that my facebook chat is working again so you can talk to me more. please talk to me more.
after giving each other head, we had a really nice post-oral heart to heart. found out he lost his virginity in a threesome.
Can't talk right now. I'm doing tequila shots with my professor at some Mexican bar. That's how I prepare for finals.
I need a new pic for your contact id. Because your boobs popping up when I'm having dinner with my grandma or, ya know, when kids have my phone isn't so good.
WHAT THE FUCK JASON, WHY IS THERE A FREE BLOW JOBS BY LISA SIGN IN MY FRONT LAWN WITH MY PHONE NUMBER ON IT?! PEOPLE ARE PULLING INTO MY DRIVEWAY!
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
You're cock blocking me from my own boyfriend. What kind of shit is that?
Our host-mom was rubbing her back sympathetically going "muy bien, chica" while she puked on the beach. So yeah, I think we got the best one.
I was on etsy and I'm like those boobs look way too familiar
I'm pretty sure my munchies are the only reason Good and Plenty is still around
Like you can't just be like oh bb and THEN SEND ME A FUCKING PICTURE OF MY 8TH GRADE FAT SELF IN A TACO COSTUME
i don't want him to see me in a bathing suit.
hasn't he seen you naked?
well yeah, but it's different in a bathing suit.
he said to "slap him" after he guessed the time correctly. i did.
Randomize
