hah yeah. there was a kid puking in the bathroom and this idiot brings in a potted plant and was like "yeah he's like, not getting enough oxygen"
She was adopted and used to dance at Sapphire. just my speed.
I can blatently call girls sluts here and they think i'm speaking norwegian
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
two gay guys came in and bought just a kite and a box of wine. Why cant I have saturday nights that awesome
I pretty much threw up on him while he slept, I had one task today which was to wash the sheets that I threw up on and I turned them pink. I would leave me if I could
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
spending my first valentines day single in 3 years blazed and eating heart shaped brownies i bought myself. WHO NEEDS A MAN.
I choose McDonald's breakfast at 1:28am over sex anytime
Saw a girl on a walk of shame bend down and look in a pizza box by a trash can to see if there was still a slice left. That's when you know
the best part of christmas was when my mom opened the handcuffs that were supposed to be for jen. Surprisingly, not the most awkward situation of the day.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
All I'm saying is Europe has not been easy on my vagina.
I’m gonna slowly take you in my mouth and push you deep into my throat so my lips are right up against your body and then I’m gonna fucking bite your shit off if one more of our friends shows me a snap you took while I was giving you head. Are we clear?
Do you think it's my receding hair line that makes all the milfs attracted to me??
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