Dude I just heard my boss singing from the bathroom "I love making poop"
why do all the strippers look like they came from fraggle rock
She told me that she had to rub her face against me because she was part cat.
I feel like I'm one of those people who someone looks at and thinks "how did she get into this college"
girl next to me is signing up for tough love. definitely getting laid.
i love how cold weather makes identifying sluts easier. is it below freezing? is she wearing a tube top? she's easy.
i cant belive i got a ticket! i know what his dick tastes like!
I have to think about this realistically and not with my vagina.
Indoor beer darts at Rafs just turned into a trust exercise of putting your hand on the wall and closing your eyes while the other throws.. Almost gave Cale a Tracheotomy
I praised you last night for winning a chug off...you thanked me with a ridiculously hard headbutt. Thanks dick.
He said he wanted to start giving out "sex souvenirs". I got a poster with a penguin on it.
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
Trying to ignore the fact that a kid I hooked up with twice just gave me spare keys to his house ... and car.
Last night you snap chatted some chick a pic of bottle service with the caption "send tits"
You said you couldn't use your body anymore so you made me push the buttons on your phone while you made alien sound effects
Randomize
