wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
IM NOT LETTING YOU PEE ON ME IF THATS WHAT YOURE GETTING AT.
I just want you to know that if I ever had to fight man eating flowers or flying turtles to save my friends they'd be fucked. No one's worth all that bullshit. PS I really need to stop playing Wii while drunk.
I am highly attracted to the men and that's all i can say. I do not clap and make noises but i do turn to the side and say how i'd do incredible things to them if given the chance
I did the walk of shame wearing his scrubs. Fucking med school students is the way to go.
Just finished my quantum homework in ladies room writing with eyeliner. I am the party/physics champion.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
Can't decide if I want to watch full house or the fleet wood Mac concert during the presidential debate.
say penis size is all related to how funny you are and then tell a feminist joke. if she laughs, you got double points, if she slaps you, she probably wasn't going to sleep with you anyway
If I die tonight, I want you to have the rest of my nachos. And my porn collection.
I want to get a list going called "D list celebs I've kissed"
Guy in my class today said, "I'm pretty sure you think about beer 95% of the time."
So help me God.... if he sends me a dick pic.... I will make it so he has to eat food through a tube in his nose and poop into a bag by his belly button
I told him he looked like my uncle.
Why would you say that in a bathtub?
You just sent a mass text asking if anyone ever drank the blood of a goat in the glorious name of Satan...after that we confiscated any writing utensil
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