I just wanted to draw pictures of limp wieners on peoples doors and smash pictures of palm trees. That's it.
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
Stop. He threw up in front of Madison Square Garden security. Spit at the guys feet and grunted ughhh at him.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I'm currently looking through google images of circumsized penises and realizing how vital pre-marital sex is.
My body is like , remember when you wouldn't let me puke last night? Good luck at work fucker.
pretty sure tht was the guy who once went to the club dressed as waldo. he still looks weirdly fuckable.
fuck you and your stupid hot as hell face
If I had a vagina, my apartment would have been the Atlantic
I'm having leftover pizza for breakfast. I'm clearly not the greatest at this adult thing.
I emptied a Vyvance capsule into my coffee pot last night and set the auto start. Pretty sure I've been drinking meth all morning
Why does my nose taste spicy?
How do you know what your nose tastes like?
Babe if there was a way to give a back rub and head at the same time that's what I would ask for my birthday, Christmas and of course right now. Please think about how and get back to me.
We walked into the RA's room and he said "is that alcohol" and I screamed "IT'S WATER" and ran out and Vanessa slammed the door and started making out with him.
Randomize
