brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I told her it just looked small because my balls were gigantic. She bought it.
let's just say, the carpet matched the drapes. in colour and length.
In case you were wondering, it hurts when the bouncer throws your phone at you after kicking you out of the strip club for taking pictures.
I was trying to make tacos and friends but there was a major language barrier.
I'm silent, like a masturbating ninja.
Remembering I sold my brand new Blackberry to a stranger for a few pints = Worst night of my life. Now to work out what I did with my shoes.
This is just what we do. We meet guys, go back to their place, smoke all their weed & go home to compete in out own version of Cupcake Wars.
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
Hardest I think I've ever had to work for a shack. Whatevs. Still gonna get my way though. I'll start respecting myself on Monday
Hey you're my best friend, I'm sorry I picked my vagina over my heart last night.
I think God is sending me all these 20 year olds to make up for wasting my 20's in that crappy ass marriage. Thanks Big Guy!
i asked her if she was sure that she was ready to do it and she replied with "come at me bro"
Definitely didn't just make out with a guy the same height as me just because we wanted to see what it would be like to not have to reach up....
dude. I can hear the air.
Randomize
