it doesn't count as moral degradation if you win the strip off -right?
The girl sitting next to me in class is writing her to-do list under the title 11/31.
what's with the bloody hand print on the hood of your car
We should have cut you off when you asked the can driver if you could ride in the trunk.
Instead of politely asking me to shave, he passive-aggressively left me a groupon for a bikini wax. So I passive-aggresively fucked his roommate. And his roommate didn't mind my bush when he went down on me. Anyway, do you want the groupon or not?
If I don't survive tonitght I would like to thank you for the ricekrispy treats. I am majestic
she said i was like a little lamb and she felt bad for luring me into her den of sin. then she blew me.
Being a virgin isn't supposed to be this easy for you.
I'll just be here. Naked. Eating tots and jello like a muh fuggin G
Last night you sang a duet with a gay man posing as a straight man posing as nicole kidman; your life lacks neither color nor texture:)
We need a full length mirror. I just ate it trying to look at my shoes on the toilet. But aside from a arm bruise I'm good to go
Also, fucking on half deflated air mattresses is a great full body work out.
Fall is here I will miss walking downtown in nothing but paint and pasties
She rode me like a jockey on that tiny couch. Then we spooned.
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
True life: I got so drunk that i took a shower with my clothes on at 4 am...
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