Oh and ps....i was sleeping soundly until i woke up by the sound of amy on the phone with her mom sobbing hysterically because she can't stop having the shits.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
There is something about weddings and lines being done off my ass
bad decision 37: pregaming the antique store
The bartender just started bringing me gin and tonic in a pint glass to save himself trips...
I've been meaning to ask you. The first night in the city did we do key bumps with a suicidal homeless man? My memory is fuzzy
He used his one phone call to tell me not to let anyone drink all his vodka until he could bail himself out.
I have a cup of vodka in my bathroom with a straw in it. Yes, I am ready for this bikini wax.
I feel like my chances would have been better if I hadn't told her "I need to fuck you before you leave."
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
Only sluts go out in this weather carpe diem boys
Do I get bonus points if I get lockjaw after a cosmic blowjob?
I mean, I was expecting a little more coke snorting and a little less kids and cake
Holy shit dude........stairs
Randomize
