My little brother has some high school girls in my pool, it's like a jailbait buffet in my backyard
i can smell the iron from margo's period blood from across the table.
I told him next time he kisses her to remember where that mouth has been...
How'd that go?
Hes on his way with a baseball bat...
you ran down to the water at 3am and rolled in the sand and ran around screaming that you were the corn dog monster.
chlamydia ends and my period begins. this isnt real life
Just so you know, I'm standing in my bra eating cereal. My keys were in the cereal box.
I ended up in a shower with 9 people and a bunch of unopened beer last night. I think I got peed on. Hands were everywhere. We sold the peed on beer to people knocking on the hotel room door.
Wow, now I'm sad I didn't go.
Omg just remembered. I tried to kidnap a dog.
So I definitely fucked a guy while holding on to his pigtails like reigns last night.
The most literal cowgirl position ever.
That's how all the girlfriends are. Oh he's a boy, no worries, then BAM. I blow their boyfriend.
good news: smoking weed at school again, quality of life has improved drastically
Rolled over in bed this morning and found Nutella and wet naps. Why can't it ever be a fire fighter, or Jude Law.
so.. please tell me you did not really sleep on the washing machine last night
guilty
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
I have to start drinking water I have a drug test to fail at 1:40
Randomize
