Where did you get a picture of my penis
I have a love/hate relationship when men come within a 10 minute time frame.
This cougar at my work just said "big breasts" referring to poultry... Still resulted in a boner.
My professor just used "labia" and "numchucks" in the same sentence. I am dying.
And then I have a slight inkling that I went up to the bar and tried to order the bartender.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
Just got a picture message from my sister of the two of us wearing cowboy hats and pressing our bare asses together. Do you remember enough to explain?
He needs to stop telling me how much he respects me. What does that even mean
Hooked up with an ex Playgirl model. I feel like the universe just high-fived me for staying sober.
Now theyre filling the kiddie pool water with boxes and boxes of jello powder and im not sure if thats a sign i should leave or what
Thanks for fingering me to orgasm during Wu-Tang Clan
This really high kid past out in the corner of the room holding a box of cheez its in his arm. My idol.
What did we do lastnight that resulted in a $1,896 charge on my credit card with a $2,000 limit
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
Sexual side note: sushi and cum do not mix well. That is all.
Randomize