You probably shouldn't be hiding under someones bed listening to them get head
thats the last time i clean cum out of my retainer.
you kept lifting my skirt up, yelling "PANTY PARTY". needless to say, you're at the top of my father's shit list right now.
Just found the book "How to Stay Christian in College" on my roommates desk. At a loss for words...
i can tell by the sound of your bed that he isnt that good at sex.
I hope his life after cheating on me is as good as Tiger's golf game is these days.
Her mom caught her drunk streaking when she was 12. Of course she's perfect for me.
and being hungover still at 4 in the afternoon is NOT "having allergies"
i dont care. it has been a 14 hour day, and we are all celebrating by alternating shots and grilled cheese.
I was giving a campus tour, when a drunk senior came up behind me and shouted at the group, "If Jesus ain't your homeboy - get the fuck off this campus!" Looks like his religion course is paying off...
I need to hump something and I know u understand.
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Also Fuck you Stephen King and Fuck the horse you rode in on, making me cry In front of my coworkers.
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