so i realized that everyone figured out i was a slut before i did. then i realized that no one felt like telling me. sometimes i think you just keep me around for entertainment.
you're right.
Ummmm yeah ..,.. All three girlfriends I have right now are chatting with each other at the party...... I'll see you on the other side
the black eye was caused by a 12 year old girl in a vampire costume who punched you in the face after you aggresively screamed "TEAM JACOB!" in her face & howled at the moon...
How could you not be happy? Its like "and then I found 5 dollars" but "and then I found a handle of vodka"
My ATM looks so different sober.
She gave 2 thumbs up when Nirvana came on the radio while blowing me in the bathroom
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
I'm using her two yr old as a arm rest while I attempt to feel her up. Somehow she is allowing it. How this transitions to sex should be interesting.
I'm not sure how many more innuendos I can slip into this fucking conversation before I just blatantly say "I want to fuck you."
she broke my one feeling. seriously I think she broke my dick.
I just want a whole pitcher of margarita and a headdress from party city and sit around and look like a fucking indian princess.
Operation: pick up a lawyer was a resounding success. Commence operation: football mugshot weekend
that's right. bitches got laser pointers. let's fuck shit up
I was desperate and wasn't about to let my cereal get soggy so I ate it on the toilet. Don't let me repeat last night.
I figure blowing aggressively into a harmonica is better than screaming, "GET THE FUCK AWAY FROM ME YOU SOCIOPATHIC SUCCUBUS" to my sister, in the middle of an auditorium, during my mothers college graduation ceremony.
Randomize
