There's something fitting about a hot in-car interracial makeout to the tune of 'healing the world.' RIP Mike.
Blowing lines off from the book where the wild things are... bad babysitter?
Remember when we did the egg drop from the Dyson building? Her vag is like that, except with a ham, and the ham doesn't make it. I'll be back to the apartment in ten.
he thought he was parachuting out of a plane... talk about a bad trip.
Since when does a beard not count as proof of age at the liquor store?
i literally paused in the middle of it, turned on my light, pointed to the picture netxt to my bed and go "you hooked up with my roommate too!!! AWWW!" he was so weirded out. i don't think he understands the relationship we have..we share..
shes got that 'its my party i can do meth if i want to' mentality. i like that.
It got kind of awkward when her dad brought home a 20 something asian girl at 3am
I dislocated my rib eating pizza. I think I am broken.
I tried to settle their lesbian roommate fight by turning on Pretty Wild
I'm watching the World Cup in bed naked with john and our USA flag aviator glasses. Can you say America?
I've literally exhausted all the videos on pornhub. It took like 4 years, but I've done it. I did that quicker than I finished college
I don't suppose you have a recipe for a cocktail made of bitter resignation, regretting everything, poor life descisions and deep-seated self-loathing?
Sorry for peeing on your books last night. I wouldn't leave them next to the window anymore.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
