atleast your grandma didn't give you her USED dildo just so you wouldn't have sex.
IM SAVING ALL MY LOVE FOR YOU
I don't want it.
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
A girl just asked me to co-sign for her boob job because she didn't have enough credit built up. This is a first.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
I just dropped off shoes at Mike's hotel. The chick he hooked up with last night stole his phone and shoes.
Its the anniversary of our epic NBA All-star game weekend. The night the two of us cashed a 30-pack while watching the dunk contest
Well, he's moving. Now my only options are to accept it or fake a pregnancy; and since you are my only pregnant friend I'm going to need you to pee on this stick for me.
You know what i just remembered? I asked the 8 ball if i was gonna get kicked out this semester before any of this stuff happened and it said yes. ITS REAL.
Oh jesus...leave it to you to hit on not one but two guys who can't fuck you till marriage.
Dude they're making a condom for people who have no feeling in their penises that will make them able to have an orgasm. I love science
I didn't know how to commemorate his death, so I snorted a fat line off of his obituary. Rest in peace.
I'm covered in bite marks and have a cracked rib - was a good weekend
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
