Come on the kid is gayer than me
Like the straightest thing he could do right now is take it up the butt
So my earrings and necklace kept jingling and hitting him in the face, and he told me felt like he was fucking a Christmas tree
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
based on the size of her vibrator, i'm going to be a huge disappointment
You hit on the cop telling him you were celebrating the anniversary of your 21st birthday and ur boob job... That's how he got ur #
ah tequila...
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
according to the random from alabama i slept with last night i kept saying "poor lil tink tink" over and over in my sleep
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
Best surprise in my car. A cookie, sliced kiwi and the rest of my margarita. Work is going to be awesome.
I hope you realize that its not me making that decision, but rather the combination of my genitals and sexual orientation
Crazy fun. I think I got a concussion from a stripper
If I win the contest of drinking the most water I get a chicken nugget.
He just snapchatted me a picture of his cock. The angle makes it look like a freakin skyscraper. Thinking of photoshopping a little monkey on it.
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
Ya i'm marrying the man who can hear/smell this level of flatulence and stick around
Randomize
