There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
we lost you for like an hour and then found you at some dive bar trying to teach dance lessons
Climbing onto the roof in a dress and high heeled boots was probably not the best idea, especially after all that Bacardi.
there is a time and a place for ass-grabbing and that was not it.
This is what we get for YOLOing our way to obesity
they had to take the Corona's out of the fish tank because they wouldn't fit with the mini replica of the roman coliseum in there. so we drank the Corona's. does beer have an expiry date?
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
i was so high i thought the horse on my poster was running
She said to me, without hesitation, "make me an offer better than my sugar daddy and I'll go with you"
Ultimate cock block. About to have sex and your mom calls you so you can go help your grandmother figure out how to vote for the voice on her iPad
Is Oprah even human
Concept: I never actually flirt with anyone, I'm just a bitch and some people find it endearing
he was snoring so I have him a bj to wake him up and then told him he had to leave.
Yeah that stuff was rough. We insisted on wearing our bikinis all down college ave, and at several parties that were not beach themed
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