no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I don't understand how he can't hear himself snoring, but he'll wake up to me sneaking m&m's from my junk food stash beside the bed...
I love memorial day. It's drinking in the name of patriotism. God Bless America
There's banana everywhere and your hamster may or may not have stayed the night in the microwave...
I was trying to be an adult about it and simply deal with the situation, but a bowl seemed much more comforting.
So apparently the only parts of last night I remember didn't actually happen.. When did vodka become a hallucinogen?
HIV testing and a light brunch. Sounds like a great way to spend Christmas Eve.
Maybe you'll have a Christmas miracle
I feel like there should be a database and you screen your boyfriend's scrotum and all the fucked up shit they've done goes on file.
Treating myself to outback while reading the entire manual that comes with my birth control in public. Is this what single has come to?
He fell into the beer pong table and broke it. Then he threatened to throw the toliet at us if we didn't let him keep playing
Just drink your champagne out of a trophy like a fuckin winner
No, not if I told them not to. they listen to me. I have a vagina.
Bacon and your penis are involved. Of course I'm going over.
I was high as fuck laying down in the back seat while she gave him head. Most awkward chill moment of my life.
Do you remember trying to eat the shower curtain last night...?
Randomize