that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
I just dry heaved the smell of jagerbombs....which proceeded to make me hurl for real.
there is a ziplock bag over sangria in a wineglass in the fridge...classy?
Still at the library. i hate tax accounting so much that i've started calling it potions...
juast therw a cheeeeesestirng over the fnce. stuckit to sombodys car winheild... gonna luagh if i find it mlted in the mrning.
So I bought some random chick a shot she puked in her hands then I watched her make out with my roommate
Fair enough. I'm gonna finish off half a bottle of Brunettes in the shower anf relive the good ol' days. We need a reunion
I have a very important question for you: what are some good rules to have if we want to turn the nfl draft into a drinking game?
Any formal decision about whether we're planning to objectify naked women with daddy issues tonight?
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
My parents are now taking hits off a joint. Thank you.
I just want to feed you taquitos and play with your boner and live happily ever after
Everyone has seen your nipples. It's like asking if they ever walked on grass. You need better hangover questions.
Thanks for loaning me your shower and panties. My hubby is awesome, but I shouldn’t go home commando, smelling like lube and sperm again
Randomize
