Fantastic night. drank beer from a wine bottle, danced on a van, chased a llama, and fell from a fence
I forgot how ruthlessly advertising works on me when I'm high.
yours is so small it looks like an acorn!!
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
you woke me up just to tell me that I was beautiful in every way possible. Then you proceeded to fall asleep with your mouth on my boob.
On the one year anniversary of me loosing my virginity... thousands of people will be taking their pants of on subways all around the world
It's like a tribute to you being a slut
You know you have done too many drugs when you gum the sugar off your margarita without even thinking twice
He called some chick he used to fuck for cash to get food delivered to cheer me up
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
He woke up from being passed out on the couch mumbled something that sounded like "Taco" then proceeded to the bathroom only to pass out again, I think we need to learn how to party like him!
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
I legitimately just had to leave work because I am too hungover. The front office ladies keep making fun of me.
I woke up under a house in Key West
It was just a hint of nipple. I kept it classy!
Do you even hear yourself?
Randomize
