So we fuck and I say, "I'm about to go." He tells me, "No, leave at ten.. just lay here for a little while." When I ask, "Why?!" He gets his feelings hurt and says, "ugh. or don't." Since when did guys start acting like girls?
We left around 4 AM after the stripper showed no mercy and dropped into a split on Matt's nose. Massive nosebleed.
Going to the hospital for stitches on my balls. Mom walked in on me manscaping with an electric razor. Tell NOBODY.
He ran five blocks just to watch me and my best friend make out. I think he's a keeper.
I opened my package from my mom today. She put four bottles of tequila in the bottom under my ducky slippers. She knows me way to well.
He had seven beers and tap-danced on the table like a pro. HOW DOES HE DO IT
I've decided to dedicate my life to finding out which flavor of Gatorade tastes best after you brush your teeth
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
we were hooking up and then he goes "you can touch my penis" and i laughed too hard to do anything. no second date.
My cell phone fell out of my shirt pocket while tying my shoe on an escalator....which was followed by me being accused of trying to sneak an upskirt photo and being violently shoved down the top of the escalator. How's YOUR day?
why are there 3 differently sized panties on our kitchen counter?
These flip flops mean I'm casual, but I'm here to fuck.
Ethically, this is the worst thing I've ever done. Financially, however...
Idk if you own a vibrator or anything but it's not smart to leave it in dad's car for him to find :/
If he flies out here I will sleep with him. I have morals, but not when it comes to southern accents
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