Nothing kills the mood more than a jesus song.
This girl in my class is wearing a sweatshirt that says "LEAD ME NOT INTO TEMPTATION" ahaha I almost just laughed out loud. We could never be friends
nutella sex= disaster
Any parent would be proud to have a daughter that's a blowjob fairy
Hahaha alright after 5 shots I'm not allowed to touch glass or boys with girlfriends.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Although I am concerned about who made the decision to let you loose in a bridal show I am proud to see you in a sombero again.
you ate dog biscuits in front of my dogs and laughed at them for not have opposable thumbs
Found my bike today. On top of the garage. I'm not even going to ask myself why.
Thanks for letting me rent out your vagina rec room. I don't expect the security deposit back.
I did sing regulators with a random black dude at The Rail without looking at the screen, hugged him and walked off stage. I pretty much live up to all expectations.
It sounds like drunken magic sprinkled w narcotics
So I'm trying to figure out how to talk my boss into allowing pajama day once a week. Any ideas?
I have no idea what happened last night but I sobered up whilst showering with a mop.
Randomize
