i never thought i'd have to say "please stop having sex on me"
wow.
yeah, it was that bad.
last night i got mauled by 2 gay men who were trying to make each other jealous by making the other think they could swing back- you're going to love atl
I just found a dead bug in my nose. if that's the worst thing up there im considdering myself lucky.
Just because he saw my boobs doesn't mean he knows me all of a sudden
Well that's my green light to bang ur brother. Its not real til its on fb
I want him for more than banging and buying me potato salad. Is this what love feels like?
i'm not sure what happened last night.. i do remember the police calling me to find out where i was because apparently at some point i went missing? don't worry though. they found me
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
I threw up in a pringles can. how do you think my night went.
Like the fear of satan was put into my heart when I saw him put that sandwich on the WOODEN BENCH
I'm pretty sure that my eyebrow is going to be swollen from a sex injury tomorrow and possibly a black eye. If it forms that way it wiil be the second time. Different eyeball. Different decade.
My lease is up and I've been thinking, it's only fair that the guys I've fucked in this apartment in the past year help me move. They enjoyed the bed, now help me move it.
I can't believe I haven't fucked an Elvis impersonator yet.
Wandering around the streets of Baltimore at two in the afternoon. Just offered a job as a stripper. Think I should accept?
Try an internship first, see if you enjoy it.
FINE. BE CELIBATE AND ACCUMULATE CATS. SEE IF I CARE.
Randomize
