woke up 7 floors down in the lobby...i my underwear. New high or new low?
New experience?
is it just me, or are high schoolers getting sexier?
Awesome. My fame will spread to DC... As will the herpes.
You told him that your vagina was the "King Crab" of all vagina's.
I've ID'd the nipple biter.
Second day of summer classes and i already got this girl to send me nudes during class
that is WHY your in summer classes
worth it
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
2048oz a keg...divide that by solo cup... comes out to 128 beers...simplifies into 5.3repeating cases...drinkable between two people
and u failed math?
He put crushed up bacon in the joint and now we're listening to the Matilda soundtrack I have no idea what's going on
So I just sent my ex a video snap chat of me getting head from some Venezuelan hottie with the caption I still love you. Think she'll take me back?
It started with a wedding, followed by a drag show, and ended with Trevor getting punched in the face by the bouncer. How was your weekend?
When that bartender tried to tell us he sang like Sade, I knew it was time to go
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
He is currently passed out on his toilet. Point day drinking.
I really need to stop turning to the BDSM dungeon masters of tinder whenever my heart hurts
Randomize
