absolutely 100% incorrect. and i love you more you silk skinned goddess
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
K. On the way. I need a drink.
Like a drink drink or like water?
Have we met?
I've started grabbing my boobs in front of my lesbian philosophy professor so she'll give me a better grade. It's working...
i have an important question...can you drink in jail?
Goldenshlager is a hell of a drink. And these are the adventures ur missing out on w me. I gave someone a bath Emily. A BATH.
Awkward
Can't say I wouldn't let it happen again.
U can be a future sentaor's wife if you want. I'm happy with "closet lesbian", "tech prof".and "masters degree" all rolled into one. Drunken bar escapades pay off.
He stood me up.
I'm no sure if I should be pissed or proud that he finally grew a backbone.
I'm going to write a horror movie. It's going to be called "Fat People on a Squeaky Bed" and it's going to feature me laying in bed last night listening to my overweight roommate and her fat boyfriend tossing and turning all night
Or I could hide in your trunk so you can sneak out of putt putt for sex breaks
I'm going as your incestuous sister. If thats not the perfect winglady I don't know what is.
Her hotness level dropped from an 8 to a 2 as soon as I walked into her place. It REEKED of cat piss and there was no litter box and NO CATS.
All I got was pictures of my boss and dicks. So, that was the end of snapchat.
I haven't had a bra on since I quit my job.
On another note, I kinda only wanna poop laying down now
Randomize
