Omg Kevin Jonas is engaged!!!!!!
Omg really? To who. Gay marriage is only legal in like 3 states.
This was all being yelled across a beer pong table as all important things should be discussed
For some reason I have a hard time believing getting drunk and recreating a movie about singing transvestites is ever very far from a situation you're in.
Thanks for talking me down from peeing on his window last night.
I am now curious as to how you would have aimed.
Well on a positive note, crystal light now comes in margarita flavor
Oh my god. My pre-date bowl for nerves tuned into "I'm too high for this date" he kept talking about trucks and I couldn't stop making racial slurs.
It wasn't the stripper that gave you the hickey but I just figured out who did
I feel like his dick looks like a decorative autumn squash.
cracked out the beer snorkel again. that thing has a five for five record of getting me naked.
He wanted to bang in the work van while we were on shift together. He convinced me with "It's like the Scooby Doo van but looks nothing like the Scooby Doo van."
Lol I screamed "GOT AN ORDER OF VERSACE TACOS UP" and the whole kitchen was just like who the fuck is this kid
People who don't like drugs and guac are not people I chose to associate with
I'm talking to a corgi on tinder..wtf has my life come to
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
Imagine we only get one cock for the rest of your life. I’d pick his dick. That good!
Randomize
